Tetsuo: The Iron Man
So last night, I hit up the Digital Gym to catch Tetsuo: The Iron Man, a 1989 Japanese sci-fi horror flick directed, written, produced, and edited by Shinya Tsukamoto. What does this have to do with VIKINGS vs SAMURAI? I’ll tell you why, dear reader.
It's the last century, I’m just a young punk, and I stumble across this catalog from Amok Books—total goldmine for weirdos like me. Now, this was pre-internet, folks. No YouTube, no streaming, not even DVDs! You had to hunt for the good stuff. Amok Books had all kinds of wild reads, like Adam Parfrey’s Apocalypse Culture—a freaking treasure trove of off-the-wall interviews, articles, and documents that dig into the fringe of society—and You Can’t Win, the autobiography of Jack Black (no, not that one), a burglar and hobo running wild in the American and Canadian West. But the real kicker? They had these crazy VHS tapes. Yeah, VHS! Like I said, pre-streaming, kids—get your head around that.
And that’s where I first saw Tetsuo: The Iron Man. Just the title alone grabbed me by the throat. Then I read the synopsis: a “metal fetishist” gets hit by a car, and both he and the driver start turning into metallic monsters, eventually fusing into one giant nightmare machine hell-bent on turning the world into metal. Are you kidding me?! I was in. I had to watch this movie!
Alright, so Tetsuo: The Iron Man? Yeah, it’s only 67 minutes long—short, right? Wrong. It feels way longer, but not in a bad way. This thing is cyberpunk body horror cranked to 11. I could sit here and break down the scenes for you—a woman’s brutal death during a gut churning sexual encounter or the insane stop-motion that fuses man and metal in the craziest ways you’ve ever seen—but none of that would even scratch the surface of what this movie’s about. Tetsuo isn’t something you just watch, man. It’s a full-on assault. You experience it.
I own Tetsuo: The Iron Man. Yep, I picked it up for a steal on Apple Movies, along with Tetsuo II: Body Hammer and A Snake of June—that one’s about a shy career woman and her hygiene-obsessed, workaholic husband as they dive into some seriously twisted sexual territory that disrupts their lives. I can throw on Tetsuo whenever I want. And trust me, I have. But the chance to see that beast of a movie on the big screen? Are you kidding me? Take my damn money!
Our love can destroy this whole fucking world.
So there I am, strolling downtown to the Digital Gym, grabbing myself a cold lager, and settling into my seat, ready to dive headfirst into Tetsuo: The Iron Man. And who plops down next to me? Christian—the same guy who sat with me during the 4K restoration of Seven Samurai. Small world, right? Just like last time, we start shootin’ the breeze about politics and philosophy. Christian’s telling me about this book he’s reading, The Burnout Society by Byung-Chul Han—this deep dive into how modern society’s obsession with multitasking, convenience, and endless positivity is messing with our heads, leading to burnout, stress, and exhaustion on a massive scale. I’m thinking, “Man, this could totally be the plot for Tetsuo 3.” It’s got that whole body-horror-meets-society-collapse vibe, no question.
Christian’s eyes go wide when I drop the bomb that Tetsuo: The Iron Man is just over an hour long. He’s like, “Wait, what?” And I’m like, “Dude, trust me, this thing is so extreme, you wouldn’t want it a second longer.” Then the lights go down, and we’re in it—Tsukamoto’s nightmare of paranoia, sweat, and blood-soaked metal madness unfolds in all its gritty, gory glory. When the credits roll, I turn to Christian, curious, and ask, “Well, what’d you think?” He just sits there, face all twisted up, trying to find the words, and finally goes, “It was… an experience.” Exactamundo!
Alright, so I promised I’d connect the dots between Tetsuo: The Iron Man and VIKINGS vs SAMURAI, and now we’re gonna get to the good stuff. My story’s got a couple of bad dudes, right? You got Hansel, the fail son, and Skvane Snorfingr, the ruthless sellsword. But I needed a big bad—someone who’s gunning to take over all of Japan. Now, here’s where I tip my hat. Stan Sakai, that genius behind Usagi Yojimbo, pays tribute to chambara icons like Toshiro Mifune in his comics. So I thought, why not do the same? Enter Lord Tsukamoto, named after the evil genius behind Tetsuo: The Iron Man. It’s my way of honoring a filmmaker who knows how to rattle you every single time.
Tetsuo: The Iron Man isn’t just a film—it’s a full-blown, in-your-face experience, like being dropped into the middle of pure chaos. Kinda like my VIKINGS vs SAMURAI comic book, chock full of intensity and madness. Tsukamoto’s grotesque, body-horror masterpiece? That’s where the inspiration for my big bad, Lord Tsukamoto, comes from. It’s a nod to a filmmaker who knows how to punch you in the gut with dread and awe. Just like Tetsuo shreds boundaries, so does the bloody clash between Vikings and samurai—honor, ambition, violence—it’s all there. And trust me, just like watching Tetsuo on the big screen leaves you reeling, Lord Tsukamoto’s gonna hit you the same way. So, if you haven’t streamed Tetsuo: The Iron Man yet, what are you waiting for? Better yet, catch it in a theater if you can, and let it mess with your head long after the credits roll.
